Welcome to the seventh post in The Casual Gourmet’s series of tips for newly engaged brides. You can view all the tips (once published) here or learn more about the author, Olive Chase (THE Cape Cod wedding expert) here. Check back often for more tips!

Tradition, of course, calls for a wedding cake. However, during the past few seasons we saw many brides request cupcakes instead of a traditional wedding cake. Lately we have seen this trend fizzle out as more and more brides are moving away from the cupcake tiers and opting for a beautiful traditional wedding cake with a variety of fillings and flavors.

We have also seen a growing request for items such as pies. Another popular trend are dessert bars such as ice cream sundae bars, cupcake bars and even s’mores bars where guests can come up and make their own s’mores to order. This past summer we even did a fun Crème Brule Station. 

Most people will stick with your traditional layered wedding cake but don’t be afraid to try something different, particularly if you have a dessert you and your soon to be spouse love!

The dinner portion of your wedding is the heart of your event. Choosing the right style of dinner service to fit your personality and budget not only helps you bring a cohesive look to your wedding but it also might help keep your budget on track.

Many couples need to visualize what the table setups will look like before hand to help determine the kind of dinner service they would like to pick. If you want to see charger plates and formal settings on the guest tables then maybe a station reception is not your best choice. If you are looking to have a more free flowing event without everyone sitting down, maybe your best choice would not be a plated meal option.

There are three typical choices for your dinner service and if you’re on Cape Cod, a fourth.

Photo by Steve Haines

Plated Meal – The plated meal option provides a more formal setting for your guests to enjoy their dinner. It also allows for a more structured event since everyone will eat at the same allowing for a timeline. Each table is setup with a full table setting including water goblets, wine glasses and even a champagne glass for the toast if you choose. The meal is brought out by servers and put down in front of your guests table by table guided by a Captain. This format of serving is on the more expensive side of the pricing spectrum since it requires many more servers in order to help serve your guests in a timely fashion. This options also lends itself to be most appropriate if you wish to offer your guests a choice between entrees.
(Steve Haines pic)

Buffet Option – You might not like the formal setting of a plated dinner but you might like a simple abundant buffet option. A buffet dinner is sometimes classified as the “cost effective” option since there is a savings associated with cutting the amount of servers needed to help serve the meal. Tables can be formally set with flatware and glassware and can also include the champagne glass if you choose to. Once dinner is ready, guests would be asked to come up to the buffet line table by table. Many buffet lines are double sided which provides a more efficient and time reducing manner for your guests to get their meal.

Photos by Amy Riley

Action Stations – Are you looking for a more unstructured feel to the evening? If so then your guests might enjoy an station event where various stations are scattered throughout the event to include menu items such as Sliders and Fries, Baja Tacos or even Short Pates. Many of these stations would have someone making the sliders and fries to order or even a pasta plate with ingredients of your choice. This option provides your guests the option to mix and mingle throughout the night without having to feel like they are required to sit in a designated seat and follow a designated timeline. A significant detail to remember when choosing a station party is that many of the formal introductions, cutting of the cake and other wedding staples are usually thrown out when choosing an action station option. Guests do not have assigned seating and many of the times the couple can get away with not providing seating for everyone. This is done on purpose to encourage guests to keep moving and mingling through out the night.

Photos by The Casual Gourmet

Cape Cod Clambake – Being from Cape Cod, we get many couples looking to treat their out of town guests to an authentic Cape Cod Clambake. Seafood for a clambake is usually cooked in a rig along with some seaweed and steamed before being served. Clambakes can be served on a buffet or even with a plated meal option. When choosing a clambake option note that the plates are a little bigger to help accommodate a lobster as well as other large food items.

When looking a caterer it is very important to keep in mind the associated costs of the meal and style you have chosen. For many couples it is important to know that they will be provided with locally grown ingredients although it might have a premium cost attached to it. You also want to make sure that the caterer or venue space can execute an adequate plan for the meal and dinner service you have in mind along with providing you a detailed cost list associated with the dinner option you have chosen. You don’t want to be hit with unexpected costs a few weeks before the wedding because the caterer or venue you have chosen does not have the necessary serving trays or serving utensils needed for your event.

Forty percent of a typical wedding budget is allocated to food. The food you you serve deserves plenty of attention and careful planning as such, we will devout a few posts to each aspect of wedding food (after all, we are caterers!). I think its only fitting that we begin at the beginning, the cocktail hour!

Many couples have confided in me that the cocktail hour was their favorite part of their wedding. Unfortunately some couples (and bridal parties) miss the cocktail hour as they are off having their formal photos taken. Make sure you talk to your photographer ahead of time and discuss the timing.

Some photographers off a “First Look” that takes place before the wedding where the bride and groom sneak off to take some photos together in their formal dress. This allows for the couple to enjoy the reception worry free of capturing those formal memories. With this option, you can consider a slightly shorter (45mins to an hour) cocktail hour.

Photo by Steve Haines Photography

Photo by The Casual Gourmet

If you decide on not to do the “First Look” then a standard time frame for a cocktail hour is between an hour to hour and a half. This allows your guests plenty of time to arrive at the reception site if it’s at a different location than the ceremony and also gives some extra timing for the bride and groom to get in the extra pictures after the ceremony.

As with all the other parts of the wedding the cocktail hour should be what you envision it to be. When you pull up to your cocktail reception do you see servers with passed hors d’oeuvres or do you see a beautiful vintage cheese display (see right)?

Many couples come to Cape Cod to enjoy the fresh seafood and the beautiful views, these are the couples that typically opt to have a Raw Bar during their cocktail hour. Here is a  great example of the Raw Bar displayed in a beautiful boat at an event (see right).

You know who your guests are, would something like a raw bar be something they would enjoy?

Bello Photography Buzz – bellophoto.net | Facebook

One of our favorite wedding photogs, Christine and Andy provide a great mix of wedding and just plain fun photos on their blog!

Desiree Spinner - desireespinnerevents.com/blog/ | Facebook

Desiree is a local event planner and always gives us great inspiration on her blog with a mix of wedding, food and design posts sure to get your creativity spinning!

Northern Images Studio280 Photography - studio280photography.com | Facebook

Destination photographer Tom Davis shows plenty of Cape Cod weddings on his blog but he also gives us shots of warmer climates during the cold Cape Cod winters, and for that we thank him!

Style Me Pretty - stylemepretty.com | Facebook

Style Me Pretty is one of the best wedding blogs out there and they have a category focused on Cape Cod weddings showcasing some of the fabulous events around the Cape!

Have a favorite wedding blog we missed? Let us know about it in the comments so we can keep up!

The vendors you choose are a key aspect of the wedding planning process. You want to make sure when picking your vendors, you choose companies and people with good reputations and an understanding of your overall wedding vision.

Most people look at:

Venue – See our last post, Location, Location, Location.

Music – Do you want a band, a DJ or are you ok with hooking up an iPod to a speaker for your reception?

Flowers – Do you want large intricate arrangements or do you want something simpler like some daisies or sunflowers in a vase?

Wedding Official – Are you choosing an officiant so you can get married with your toes in the sand or do you need a priest so you can have your nuptials in a church?

Photographer – Some photographers specialize in a photojournalistic style and help you capture the moment without feeling like you are posing for the camera the whole time. Or maybe you prefer the more traditional posed formal picture style of photography which many photographers still use.

Tent & Rentals– Don’t just consider the products themselves, will the company send staff to replace damaged rentals or in inclement weather to maintain the tent?

Caterer – We will go on and on about food in our next few posts but make sure you pick a caterer you’re comfortable with – chances are they will have the most staff and largest presence at your reception. Also, find out what they do other than food. For instance, The Casual Gourmet is full-service, we can help hire all the other vendors and provide a day-of a coordinator to ensure your wedding goes smoothly.

Beyond  the basics consider some of the less-than traditional vendors to make your special day extra special.

Novelties – We have seen everything from a cigar roller to a photo booth. Consider what you and your significant other love (other than each other!) and add something to your wedding to share that passion with your guests.

Videographer - Videos have come a long way from the time when videographers used to plop themselves in the middle of the dance floor with their invasive lighting and large camera equipment. Many videographers these days are shooting in a cinematic style and can capture the emotions of the day in a short video clip. Here is a great example of a wedding shot over the summer. Check out the video below of Ashleigh and Henry’s wedding we catered in June – video by Damon Dietz from Absolute Media Productions.

For being so active and helping us get such a great turnout for our first contest, the other six contestants will receive a $100 of f their wedding cake. Thanks to all the contestants and voters!

For all of our couples (or soon to be couples!), check out our newly engaged checklist with tips and guidance for planning your wedding. Our next post on how to choose the right vendors will be live this weekend — stay tuned!

Final results:

Now that you have your guest list in hand, the next step is deciding where you are going say, ‘I do’ — a destination wedding to beautiful Cape Cod or a reception close to home, a big church ceremony or a small gathering down by the beach? Do you have a meaningful location already in mind? These are important choices that will define the character and, ultimately, the memory of your big day!

Many couples like to recreate that special moment in their relationship by having their wedding either at the same location he proposed or at a location where much of your time was spent together.

The answer may not come easily. The best approach is to sit back and figure out what are the deal breakers. Do you want to get married with your feet in the sand? Do you want the party to go on till 2am? Figure out what is a must and go from there.

For instance, Cape Cod is surrounded by beaches but maybe you want the view without the sand and dunes — Nauticus Marina in Osterville fits the bill (Photo by Bello Photography — website, facebook):

Or, perhaps you want a ceremony in the great outdoors but still want an intimate, indoor reception — Heritage Museums and Gardens offers both (Photo by Steve Haines Photography):

The key is to figure out what you really want and narrow down your choices. Check out The Casual Gourmet’s list of wedding reception sites for an idea of the types of sites you might look for. It is important to compare and contrast the variety of sites for your reception.

Wedding receptions at non-traditional sites: mansions, museums, beaches and historic landmarks

Historic Highfield Hall in Falmouth is a great example of a non-traditional wedding reception site

Great Because…
• Impressive architecture and manicured grounds provide a distinctive setting
• Ability to create unique one of a kind event
• Privacy – these venues usually host one event at a time

The Downside…
• More restrictions — noise, décor and rental times
• Outdoor disturbances — dirt, mud, allergies, noises, temperature
• Must plan a backup for inclement weather

Wedding receptions at function halls

Great Because…
• Hassle free wedding packages available
• Tons of wedding experience makes site coordinator an invaluable resource

The Downside…
• Weddings can look mass produced
• Multiple events held per day, affecting your starting and ending times

Wedding receptions at hotels and resorts

Great Because…
• Onsite accommodations and added amenities (concierge, shuttles, spas etc.)
• Proximity to airports and/or vacation destinations
• Low or no rental fees

The Downside…
• Hotel ballrooms and cuisine can be generic
• Ballroom dividers may be unappealing (ask to see in advance)
• Potential lack of privacy – larger hotels host multiple events at once

The number of place settings (aka the number of guests) is the easiest way to control the cost of a wedding!

A wedding is a serious financial investment you should discuss as a couple and with your family. For many couples, other than buying a home, this will be the first significant purchase they make together.

The old rule of the bride’s parents paying for the wedding is no longer necessarily in effect. The average age for the bride and groom has risen in the last few years as many couples wait until they have stable careers and finances. The bride’s family may still be paying but the bride and groom pay for most of the wedding. We also see in many cases the groom’s family also pays a significant amount of the bill.

It is important for everyone involved to get together and discuss a reasonable and realistic budget. The best way to do this is to sit down with a pencil, paper and calculator and figure out what you want.

Sometimes the wedding of your dreams might be a bit out of your budget. Often, the most important elements of your wedding—those make or break details—can happen on any budget. Maybe you can’t have the reception at a castle but those firefly lanterns could still happen.

Finding the most important and least important elements can help craft an affordable wedding you will remember forever. Buffet instead of sit down, simpler napkins etc… —small elements like these can really help incorporate the wedding you have envisioned while still keeping within your budget.

Remember: The fastest way to control the cost of a wedding is to control the guest list, check out our last post for tips on your guest list!

The Expenses

The Knot put together a great list of a wedding’s largest expenses and who typically pays:
-The Ceremony
-Clothes
-Flowers
-Honeymoon
-Photography
-Pre-wedding Parties
-Reception
-Rings
-Stationary
-Transportation

Tools:

Budget worksheet

A cozy Cape Cod wedding set for 80 people at the Cape Cod Museum of Arts! The number of people at your wedding should reflect your vision for the event.

Many brides want a small intimate wedding—yet when they start looking at their guest list they quickly realize excluding some family and friends just isn’t possible.

A typical Cape Cod wedding has an average 125 guests but remember, not everyone you invite will be able to attend. Expect 10-20% of your guest list to be unable to attend.

Getting too big?

One of the most difficult things we watch brides and grooms do is whittle down their guest list. It is just not easy to cut friends and family.

Remember, it’s your day—think of who you want to invite! Ask who are the people who are moving forward in your life? Your fifth cousin on your father’s side might not but your younger brother definitely will be in your life for years to come. Will your current colleagues be in your lives if you switch jobs in a few months? How about your college roommate?

Chances are some of these people—though good friends in the past—don’t have to be at your wedding. Apply this simple rule to help you bring down your guest list to the perfect size.

Tools

Google weddings has a great tool for organizing your guest list

Check out this guest list template from Style Me Prety!

We are so excited for those brides and grooms getting engaged this holiday season. To help keep warm as the snow approaches and inspire a few “I do”s, check out this video of Ashleigh and Henry’s wedding at the Mack House we catered back in September.

A special thanks to Damon Dietz from Absolute Media Productions for the video. Great work!

Truly, a fairy tale wedding!